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1. |
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I should've been a guru
Young girls for the pickings
Followers wash my asshole
And grown men weep at my face
I think I could've made a go
Smile always and act like I know
The perfect secrets of the cosmic wow
But it's too late to be a guru now
I should've been a guru
Talk shows with Larry King
White robes in a limousine
A long beard and a big ring
I know I could've been at peace
A happy face and perfect teeth
Free eats off the sacred cow
But it's too late to be a guru now
I should've been a guru
Sitting still up on a hill
No stress no mess
No sins to confess
No action no friction
Never watched Pulp Fiction
Just laugh while the people bow
But it's too late to be a guru now
I should've been a guru
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2. |
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Illusions Of Agency
The great society
The ideology
Culture theory
Timothy Leary
(Chorus)
Illusions of agency
Illusions of agency
Illusions of agency
Illusions of agency
Plant a tree
Subversives on TV
Digital means free
Let’s try alchemy
(CHORUS)
R.U. Sirius
Act imperious
New edge freaks
All power to the geeks
(CHORUS)
The DNC
Crypto-anarchy
Spread a creed
Propaganda by deed
(CHORUS)
Wild schemes
My magazines
Guillotines
Control of the means
(CHORUS)
Hillary and Bill
The Triumph of the Will
A perfect peace pill
Mad skills
(CHORUS)
Spread a trope
Audacity of hope
Say nope to that joke
Demand better dope
(CHORUS)
Susan Sarandon
Charlie Manson
Hair of Samson
Dear Leader is handsome
(chorus_
Pontificator
Angry instigator
Be a player
Run for Mayor
(chorus)
Transhumanism
Ideological schisms
Elon’s cybertruck
The belief in luck
(chorus)
Joseph Stalin
Marty Balin
Volunteers
Rock careers
(chorus)
Patty Hearst
Voodou curse
America first
Melania’s purse
(chorus)
Stay the course
Find the source
Use force
Express remorse
(chorus)
Bio-engineer
Manipulate through fear
Point and jeer
Let me steer
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3. |
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Not A Bug But A Feature
We all have a lot of drugs
It’s not a bug it’s a feature
And me I’m easily buzzed
So I can give you a bunch of my drugs
They tell me hugs not studs
They tell me don’t piss in the strudel
But I don’t care for their advice
I’ve got some drugs to make me nice
We’re having too much fun
And all the guns are loaded
And we were born to be wacked
And we were made to attack
We were born inside out
Like in a Cronenberg movie
We have lots of strange drugs
Therefore the whole thing is groovy
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4. |
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MONDO is Italian for World
When I opened up her fridge
Saw tablespoons of monkey jizz
Preserved within a box of lemons
Next to the tarantula venom
That is when I had to see
This was just the gal for me
All along the citadel
Physicists were raising hell
Alchemists were raising heaven
Magicians were raising seven
Fools were shouting 23
This must be the place for me
Soon an apparition came
Carrying a vial of fame
Pleased to meet you what’s my name?
“I’m the scepter and the stain”
Come on in, call me “him”
Take this number, call up Tim
It was all a mad charade
And a glorious freak parade
Some got screwed but some got laid
Most got something some got paid
Mondo is Italian for world
I knew this had to be my girl
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5. |
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The World is Flat
The world is flat
Flattened by fat cats
And it’s gone off its tracks
I don’t even want it back
And there’s a lack of slack
People running in packs
Forming alliances
Wounding with appliances
Yes the world is flat
Run by some entitled hacks
And we can see the cracks
Living in our little shacks
The world is flat
Flattened by fat cats
And it’s gone off its tracks
I don’t even want it back
And there’s a lack of slack
People running in packs
Forming alliances
Wounding with appliances
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6. |
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St Jude Was A Cypherpunk
St Jude was a cypherpunk
R.U. was a crank
They thought they'd take down the bank
As a funny cute little prank
They started up a crypto clique
It turned into a monster
Were they trying to make things right
Or just to impress Jody Foster?
She am what she am a crypto-anarchist
She ain't what she ain't a crypto-antichrist
I know what I want — I want to smoke a blunt
I don't need a weatherman to feel pretty vacant
You got crypto to the moon we'll send cypherpunks to mars (rept)
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7. |
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I walk 47 miles of barbed wire
I drink ayahuasca just to watch the news
I drank Jagger & Richards under the table
And late at night I dress like Betty Grable
Who do you want me to be
Who do you want me to be
Who do you want me to be
I’m not too blind to see
My voodoo remote gets all 12 channels
I stuck with leather when Seattle did flannel
My boy named Sue is scary to you
And if you cry I’ll be flingin' poo
Who do you want me to be
Who do you want me to be
Who do you want me to be
I’m not too blind to see
I eat the living dead for fun
I fucked Ted Nugent with his own gun
I midnight rambled with Joseph Campbell
His hero trip was a croc of shit
Who do you want me to be
Who do you want me to be
Who do you want me to be
I’m not too blind to see
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8. |
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Stand tall
Stand funky
Don’t worry
Be happy
Madly happy
Keep on rappin’
What me worry?
Glad handed
Stand tall
Stand funky
Don’t worry
Be happy
Have a ball
Stand funky
Don’t worry
Be happy
Madly happy
Keep on rappin’
What me worry?
Glad handed
Stand tall
Stand funky
Don’t worry
Be happy
You could be a Christ creator
Answer those things you find in the paper
Don’t be afraid to call that number
Don’t hesitate to fulfill that hunger
You could be a Christ creator
Don’t hesitate to fulfill that hunger
You would make a lovely dictator
A wizened rising hip little scene maker
Don’t be ashamed we need a hen house lover
Don’t be afraid to be our real cool comer
You would make a lovely dictator
Don’t be afraid to be our real cool comer
Stand tall
Stand funky
Don’t worry
Be happy
Madly happy
Keep on rappin’
What me worry?
Glad handed
Stand tall
Stand funky
Don’t worry
Be happy
Have a ball
Stand funky
Don’t worry
Be happy
Madly happy
Keep on rappin’
What me worry?
Glad handed
Stand tall
Stand funky
Don’t worry
Be happy
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9. |
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by Pat Lowery
I just saw the girl with the perfect hair
Dum dee dum dee dum dee dum dee dee doo
I just saw the car with the perfect keys
Dum dee dum dee dum dee dum dee doo wah
Let’s steal our lives with the keys of the rich
Dum dee dum dee dum dee dum dee dee doo
Here comes a little cutie with a fish in her hair
There goes a wave with some cheap glasses on
Everybody’s waiting for the weekend
My hands are waiting for her pants
I’m the one who needs those keys
To finish dum dee dum dee dum dee doo doo
Now I’m a communist with a cynical eye
See me riding with my leather whip
To the end of the sea with my dum dee doo doo
To the end of Russia with my radio
Dum dee dum dee what the fuck ever hahahahahaha
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10. |
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PUNCHING A NAZI
Killing an arab
Punching a nazi
Albert Camus won’t
Bring back the Stasi
Kissing a baby
Pinching a lady
Oh Mr. Mansplain
You so crazy
Banning an Arab
Punching a nazi
Even Ayn Rand was
Never this bossy
Dating a Barbie
Making a killing
These were the days oh
Wasn’t it thrilling
Killing an arab
Punching a nazi
Dating a Barbie
Making a killing
(Punching a nazi
I don’t find any of this so thrilling
Even… )
Killing an arab
Punching a nazi
Albert Camus won’t
Bring back the Stasi
Kissing a baby
Pinching a lady
Oh Mr. Mansplain
He’s so crazy
Banning an Arab
Punching a nazi
Even Ayn Rand was
Never this bossy
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11. |
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I went out tonight
Just to see the light
Got a helping of
Gut sandwich
I didn’t ask for it
Person in a dish
Art for arts’ sake
Cut the birthday cake
I don’t feel right
I think it’s the flu
Went to the phone and I might give someone a call
Phone is ringing anyway
Shower and a shave
Someone’s guts sandwiching again across the front
I don’t feel right
I think it’s the flu
Went to the phone and I might give someone a call
If it doesn’t drive me crazy
If it doesn’t make you crazy
Is it my health again or is it something in the air
If I look out my window
I might see a constellation
Someone’s screaming out there I hope she’s only joking
If it doesn’t drive me crazy
If it doesn’t make you crazy
Is it my health again or is it something in the air
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12. |
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How I wish I could still do speed and weed
Paranoid listening to Let it Bleed
Long letters to J.G. Ballard and Chuck Manson
Kidnapped my shadow and held it for ransom
How I wish I could still do speed and weed
Wide awake watching the cops retreat
Twin Peaks repeats with a bunch of crazy chicks
Midnight the Castro for some real alt dot kicks
How I wish I could still do speed and weed
Be so sharp when I have to go on TV
Head back home kick it with some china white
Growing older man -- it just ain’t right
How I wish I could still do speed and weed
Growing older man -- it just ain’t right
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13. |
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Offer her a lollipop
Offer her some gum
Offer her most anything
Don’t offer her my gun
Offer her de Beauvoir
Or offer her de Sade
Keep your knees together
Have some faith in god
If you’ll be my Valerie Solanas
I will be your Robespierre
Nothing can come between us
‘cept that thing underneath your hair
We have so much in common
Let’s go off on a tear
Bring it down Kill the clowns
Such a lovely pair
Offer her a role in porn
Offer her revolt
Offer her most anything
Offer her your scorn
Offer her some Tribe8
Offer her Genet
Keep your shit together
Fall to your knees and pray
If you’ll be my Valerie Solanas
I will be your Robespierre
Nothing can come between us
‘Cept that thing underneath your hair
We have so much in common
Let’s go off on a tear
Bring it down Kill the clowns
Such a lovely pair
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14. |
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He is the air controller
You are the air
The people are proud of their father
Foreigners beware
He’s got a neutron charge card
He’s a mighty tough customer
He’s the glorious defender of the homeland
He just might play tough with ya
President Mussolini makes the planes run on time
Oh dig it little Arabella
He’s a strong man
Keep ‘em flyin’
Newspapers scream “He’s a winner.”
Nobody’s sayin’ what’s being won
Actor image - no content
What exactly is being done?
Send a little aid down south just to
Kill a few San Salvador nuns
Down in South Africa on civilized business
Trying to get gold for guns
Couldn’t be easier to know just what to do
If you were holding out all the money
Just a-looking for an easy going mechanic of depression
And then to wind up with your teeth against the wire fence
Wind up in the smallest of worlds crotch to the angriest lips
One deadly little spasm in the B.F. Skinner cancerteria
One deadly little spasm and what did this money buy?
Keep ‘em flying
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15. |
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I HOPE YOU DIDN’T DOSE THE PUDDING
i asked my baby for her tantric thing
she tossed away the side of her face
she's an elevated totally evil wigged-out angel
she shaked clear and showed me her glass spine
i asked my baby for a 5 dollar bill
she says she's very very smart
she's a masculine italian gangster movie
she wears those black satin gloves so groovy
i asked my baby to look beneath the sheets
she feels the breath of god caress her
she loves old wiseman in Beatle boots
she likes the thrill of the overdosed jester
i asked my baby why we jumped outta the womb
she wants a lie that’s more fulfilling
I smile gee whiz we're roller-coaster baby-friends
I hope you didn’t dose dose dose the pudding
I hope you didn’t dose dose dose the pudding
I hope you didn’t dose dose dose the pudding
I hope you didn’t dose dose dose the pudding
credits
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16. |
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President sucks on a pork rind
Dictator's wife does the bump and grind
Guess I'll do up another line
The rules they don't apply to me
The rules they don't apply
The rules they don't apply
Women will rule over men
'Cept for me - I'll rule over them
And everybody's gotta be sweet
"Cept for me - I got a right to tweek
And you gonna be my freak
You gonna be my freak
The medium is the message
Money makes it dance
Love is the product
The joke is in your pants
A love like the nasty dry cat tongue licks against the jewels angst
Sho' 'nuff broken in a world of cloised noise and glass ashtrays
Our landscape was like the blinking lights on a Vegas street in search of a meal
But I love you more than paradise baby -- you're a cadillac amongst humans
The medium is the message
Money makes it dance
Love is the product
The joke is in your pants
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17. |
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She’s so fine
On the beam
And she’s so high
On the beam
On the beam
All the time
In the world
Well if you try
You’re a lucky girl lucky girl
If you can feel it
You can dance forever
If you can deal with it
Live forever live forever
Everything
Will be ours
From the planet
To the stars to the stars
We’re getting on the beam
Things are just as they seem
Immortality in the age of the clever
Live forever live forever
On the beam
Live forever
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18. |
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I’ve got a little think tank
I call it home
I ain’t too highly paid though
Just flesh and bone
I’ll put a little thingie out
On video cassette
And hope the Minister of Propaganda
Don’t get too upset
Still it all comes though
The United Matrix of America
Pagan rhythms out of Africa
Pagan shipments out of Kathmandu
From the Aztecs to the Ming
Genetic carnival on wings
We’ve got a little freak show
We call it “The Hunchback Squeaks”
And then I politician
I get on up and I speaks
“I got a lotta rage” he cries
“And lots of irony”
You’re baboons in a cage” he lies
“I’m going to set you free”
Still it all comes though
The United Matrix of America
Pagan rhythms out of Africa
Pagan shipments out of Kathmandu
From the Aztecs to the Ming
Genetic carnival on wings
Gotta get back to L.A. now
Got a media jones
Talking with the network boys
and taking out more loans
I get 3 minutes on NBC
Attack the ruling class
I've got 4 friends at NASA now
If I have to move my ass
Still it all comes though
The United Matrix of America
Pagan rhythms out of Africa
Pagan shipments out of Kathmandu
From the Aztecs to the Ming
Genetic carnival on wings
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19. |
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20. |
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Everybody must take their shoes off at the airport
Everybody must plug their car in at the carport
Everybody still loves Britney when her dress's short
Everybody has to have a quick and snarky retort
But things here aren't really all that bad
Since everybody must get rehab
They stone you when you don't wear your chador
They stone you and they call you a whore
They stone you in Iraq and in Iran
They stone you and then they cut off your hand
But here things aren't really quite as bad
Still everybody must get rehab
Everybody must get their free botox injection
Everybody must be available for inspection
Everybody must get a way rad looking cell phone
Everybody must pay back the interest on that home loan
But I guess things aren't quite so bad
Still everybody must get rehab
They stone you when your homeless and your poor
They stone you when you can't say who your for
They stone you like they stoned Tupac Shakur
They even stone you when you close the white house door
But I guess things aren't quite so bad
Still everybody must get rehab
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21. |
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I wanna steal your radio
Sacrifice your fingers to an electric fence
I torture you in future tense staccato
And come back home and rest in bed all day
I've got techniques for ecstasy
Keeping them under the hat stand
Let's whip 'em out
And see if anything fits on your head
I wanna steal your radio
Capture you on a hard disc drive
Save you and make a million copies
Give one to each of my friends
I inverted the very color of being
But you -- you weren't there
I wanna be your radio
Sire wire fire and inspire you (cyber cyber)
Flick the switch that renders you insane
Come back home and rest in bed all day (cyber cyber)
I wanted to be Salvador Dali
I wanted to be dead and unreasonable
Let's grieve in concentric circles
To make the night release your brain
I wanna be your radio
Now I wanna be your radio
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22. |
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Afternoon of the living deadpan (dead Pan)
Don't forget to bring your bedpan
We're telling jokes that kill
Don't forget to bring your pills
Took the lawyers several months just to write an i.o.u. babe
It takes so many horrible workers just to build a single beat
It takes so many horrible lovers just to put me on my feet
Should I write an i.o.u. babe
We're all born to original debt
Write it off to appropriation
What you see is what you get
Afternoon at the Holiday Inn
All the bands are named MONDO Vanilli
They're playing songs to make you relax
We're laughing in the back
Took the chauffeur several hours just to write an i.o.u. babe
(How you gonna baste the turkey if you don't have any stuffing!)
It takes so many well paid servants just to find a decent place to eat
It takes so many local hookers to keep me from falling asleep
Should I write an i.o.u. babe or can you find the joke
And when you're done with the lawsuit
Be sure to slaughter the goat god
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A collection of selections of my favorite songs from bands I was in or worked with or wrote lyrics for.
My lyrics are on all except Girl with a Radio by Patrick Lowery and Gimme Helter (instrumental)
About 1/2 of the vocals are mine
Vocals on I Should've been a Guru and Everybody Must Get Rehab by Matt Sabo
Vocals on Not A Bug But A Feature & MONDO Is Italian For Word by Steve Fly Agaric 23
Vocals on Punching A Nazi & Be My Valerie Solanas by Charlene Verrette & Acatelysteleven
Vocals on I Hope You Didn't Dose The Pudding by Pizza T
Vocals on Illusions of Agency by Ed Reibsamen & Pizza T
Vocals on The World Is Flat by AI
Vocals on I Wanna Be Your Radio by Scrappi DuChamp
Shared vocals on IOU Babe with Scrappi DuChamp
Bands were/are:
Party Dogs, 1982
MONDO Vanilli 1992, 1994
SLT 2010
Creosote Cowboy 2017
R.U. Sirius & Phriendz 2016 - 2020
Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.