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Fake Fur (1982 - 2022) -- The R​.​U. Sirius Collection (with Various Bands)

by R.U. Sirius & Various Bands

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1.
I should've been a guru Young girls for the pickings Followers wash my asshole And grown men weep at my face I think I could've made a go Smile always and act like I know The perfect secrets of the cosmic wow But it's too late to be a guru now I should've been a guru Talk shows with Larry King White robes in a limousine A long beard and a big ring I know I could've been at peace A happy face and perfect teeth Free eats off the sacred cow But it's too late to be a guru now I should've been a guru Sitting still up on a hill No stress no mess No sins to confess No action no friction Never watched Pulp Fiction Just laugh while the people bow But it's too late to be a guru now I should've been a guru
2.
Illusions Of Agency The great society The ideology Culture theory Timothy Leary (Chorus) Illusions of agency Illusions of agency Illusions of agency Illusions of agency Plant a tree Subversives on TV Digital means free Let’s try alchemy (CHORUS) R.U. Sirius Act imperious New edge freaks All power to the geeks (CHORUS) The DNC Crypto-anarchy Spread a creed Propaganda by deed (CHORUS) Wild schemes My magazines Guillotines Control of the means (CHORUS) Hillary and Bill The Triumph of the Will A perfect peace pill Mad skills (CHORUS) Spread a trope Audacity of hope Say nope to that joke Demand better dope (CHORUS) Susan Sarandon Charlie Manson Hair of Samson Dear Leader is handsome (chorus_ Pontificator Angry instigator Be a player Run for Mayor (chorus) Transhumanism Ideological schisms Elon’s cybertruck The belief in luck (chorus) Joseph Stalin Marty Balin Volunteers Rock careers (chorus) Patty Hearst Voodou curse America first Melania’s purse (chorus) Stay the course Find the source Use force Express remorse (chorus) Bio-engineer Manipulate through fear Point and jeer Let me steer
3.
Not A Bug But A Feature We all have a lot of drugs It’s not a bug it’s a feature And me I’m easily buzzed So I can give you a bunch of my drugs They tell me hugs not studs They tell me don’t piss in the strudel But I don’t care for their advice I’ve got some drugs to make me nice We’re having too much fun And all the guns are loaded And we were born to be wacked And we were made to attack We were born inside out Like in a Cronenberg movie We have lots of strange drugs Therefore the whole thing is groovy
4.
MONDO is Italian for World When I opened up her fridge Saw tablespoons of monkey jizz Preserved within a box of lemons Next to the tarantula venom That is when I had to see This was just the gal for me All along the citadel Physicists were raising hell Alchemists were raising heaven Magicians were raising seven Fools were shouting 23 This must be the place for me Soon an apparition came Carrying a vial of fame Pleased to meet you what’s my name? “I’m the scepter and the stain” Come on in, call me “him” Take this number, call up Tim It was all a mad charade And a glorious freak parade Some got screwed but some got laid Most got something some got paid Mondo is Italian for world I knew this had to be my girl
5.
The World is Flat   The world is flat Flattened by fat cats And it’s gone off its tracks I don’t even want it back And there’s a lack of slack People running in packs Forming alliances Wounding with appliances   Yes the world is flat Run by some entitled hacks And we can see the cracks Living in our little shacks   The world is flat Flattened by fat cats And it’s gone off its tracks I don’t even want it back And there’s a lack of slack People running in packs Forming alliances Wounding with appliances
6.
St Jude Was A Cypherpunk St Jude was a cypherpunk R.U. was a crank They thought they'd take down the bank As a funny cute little prank They started up a crypto clique It turned into a monster Were they trying to make things right Or just to impress Jody Foster? She am what she am a crypto-anarchist She ain't what she ain't a crypto-antichrist I know what I want — I want to smoke a blunt I don't need a weatherman to feel pretty vacant You got crypto to the moon we'll send cypherpunks to mars (rept)
7.
I walk 47 miles of barbed wire I drink ayahuasca just to watch the news I drank Jagger & Richards under the table And late at night I dress like Betty Grable Who do you want me to be Who do you want me to be Who do you want me to be I’m not too blind to see My voodoo remote gets all 12 channels I stuck with leather when Seattle did flannel My boy named Sue is scary to you And if you cry I’ll be flingin' poo Who do you want me to be Who do you want me to be Who do you want me to be I’m not too blind to see I eat the living dead for fun I fucked Ted Nugent with his own gun I midnight rambled with Joseph Campbell His hero trip was a croc of shit Who do you want me to be Who do you want me to be Who do you want me to be I’m not too blind to see
8.
Stand tall Stand funky Don’t worry Be happy Madly happy Keep on rappin’ What me worry? Glad handed Stand tall Stand funky Don’t worry Be happy Have a ball Stand funky Don’t worry Be happy Madly happy Keep on rappin’ What me worry? Glad handed Stand tall Stand funky Don’t worry Be happy You could be a Christ creator Answer those things you find in the paper Don’t be afraid to call that number Don’t hesitate to fulfill that hunger You could be a Christ creator Don’t hesitate to fulfill that hunger You would make a lovely dictator A wizened rising hip little scene maker Don’t be ashamed we need a hen house lover Don’t be afraid to be our real cool comer You would make a lovely dictator Don’t be afraid to be our real cool comer Stand tall Stand funky Don’t worry Be happy Madly happy Keep on rappin’ What me worry? Glad handed Stand tall Stand funky Don’t worry Be happy Have a ball Stand funky Don’t worry Be happy Madly happy Keep on rappin’ What me worry? Glad handed Stand tall Stand funky Don’t worry Be happy
9.
by Pat Lowery I just saw the girl with the perfect hair Dum dee dum dee dum dee dum dee dee doo I just saw the car with the perfect keys Dum dee dum dee dum dee dum dee doo wah Let’s steal our lives with the keys of the rich Dum dee dum dee dum dee dum dee dee doo Here comes a little cutie with a fish in her hair There goes a wave with some cheap glasses on Everybody’s waiting for the weekend My hands are waiting for her pants I’m the one who needs those keys To finish dum dee dum dee dum dee doo doo Now I’m a communist with a cynical eye See me riding with my leather whip To the end of the sea with my dum dee doo doo To the end of Russia with my radio Dum dee dum dee what the fuck ever hahahahahaha
10.
PUNCHING A NAZI Killing an arab Punching a nazi Albert Camus won’t Bring back the Stasi Kissing a baby Pinching a lady Oh Mr. Mansplain You so crazy Banning an Arab Punching a nazi Even Ayn Rand was Never this bossy Dating a Barbie Making a killing These were the days oh Wasn’t it thrilling Killing an arab Punching a nazi Dating a Barbie Making a killing (Punching a nazi I don’t find any of this so thrilling Even… ) Killing an arab Punching a nazi Albert Camus won’t Bring back the Stasi Kissing a baby Pinching a lady Oh Mr. Mansplain He’s so crazy Banning an Arab Punching a nazi Even Ayn Rand was Never this bossy
11.
I went out tonight Just to see the light Got a helping of Gut sandwich I didn’t ask for it Person in a dish Art for arts’ sake Cut the birthday cake I don’t feel right I think it’s the flu Went to the phone and I might give someone a call Phone is ringing anyway Shower and a shave Someone’s guts sandwiching again across the front I don’t feel right I think it’s the flu Went to the phone and I might give someone a call If it doesn’t drive me crazy If it doesn’t make you crazy Is it my health again or is it something in the air If I look out my window I might see a constellation Someone’s screaming out there I hope she’s only joking If it doesn’t drive me crazy If it doesn’t make you crazy Is it my health again or is it something in the air
12.
How I wish I could still do speed and weed Paranoid listening to Let it Bleed Long letters to J.G. Ballard and Chuck Manson Kidnapped my shadow and held it for ransom How I wish I could still do speed and weed Wide awake watching the cops retreat Twin Peaks repeats with a bunch of crazy chicks Midnight the Castro for some real alt dot kicks How I wish I could still do speed and weed Be so sharp when I have to go on TV Head back home kick it with some china white Growing older man -- it just ain’t right How I wish I could still do speed and weed Growing older man -- it just ain’t right
13.
Offer her a lollipop Offer her some gum Offer her most anything Don’t offer her my gun Offer her de Beauvoir Or offer her de Sade Keep your knees together Have some faith in god If you’ll be my Valerie Solanas I will be your Robespierre Nothing can come between us ‘cept that thing underneath your hair We have so much in common Let’s go off on a tear Bring it down Kill the clowns Such a lovely pair Offer her a role in porn Offer her revolt Offer her most anything Offer her your scorn Offer her some Tribe8 Offer her Genet Keep your shit together Fall to your knees and pray If you’ll be my Valerie Solanas I will be your Robespierre Nothing can come between us ‘Cept that thing underneath your hair We have so much in common Let’s go off on a tear Bring it down Kill the clowns Such a lovely pair
14.
He is the air controller You are the air The people are proud of their father Foreigners beware He’s got a neutron charge card He’s a mighty tough customer He’s the glorious defender of the homeland He just might play tough with ya President Mussolini makes the planes run on time Oh dig it little Arabella He’s a strong man Keep ‘em flyin’ Newspapers scream “He’s a winner.” Nobody’s sayin’ what’s being won Actor image - no content What exactly is being done? Send a little aid down south just to Kill a few San Salvador nuns Down in South Africa on civilized business Trying to get gold for guns Couldn’t be easier to know just what to do If you were holding out all the money Just a-looking for an easy going mechanic of depression And then to wind up with your teeth against the wire fence Wind up in the smallest of worlds crotch to the angriest lips One deadly little spasm in the B.F. Skinner cancerteria One deadly little spasm and what did this money buy? Keep ‘em flying
15.
I HOPE YOU DIDN’T DOSE THE PUDDING i asked my baby for her tantric thing she tossed away the side of her face she's an elevated totally evil wigged-out angel she shaked clear and showed me her glass spine i asked my baby for a 5 dollar bill she says she's very very smart she's a masculine italian gangster movie she wears those black satin gloves so groovy i asked my baby to look beneath the sheets she feels the breath of god caress her she loves old wiseman in Beatle boots she likes the thrill of the overdosed jester i asked my baby why we jumped outta the womb she wants a lie that’s more fulfilling I smile gee whiz we're roller-coaster baby-friends I hope you didn’t dose dose dose the pudding I hope you didn’t dose dose dose the pudding I hope you didn’t dose dose dose the pudding I hope you didn’t dose dose dose the pudding credits
16.
President sucks on a pork rind Dictator's wife does the bump and grind Guess I'll do up another line The rules they don't apply to me The rules they don't apply The rules they don't apply Women will rule over men 'Cept for me - I'll rule over them And everybody's gotta be sweet "Cept for me - I got a right to tweek And you gonna be my freak You gonna be my freak The medium is the message Money makes it dance Love is the product The joke is in your pants A love like the nasty dry cat tongue licks against the jewels angst Sho' 'nuff broken in a world of cloised noise and glass ashtrays Our landscape was like the blinking lights on a Vegas street in search of a meal But I love you more than paradise baby -- you're a cadillac amongst humans The medium is the message Money makes it dance Love is the product The joke is in your pants
17.
She’s so fine On the beam And she’s so high On the beam On the beam All the time In the world Well if you try You’re a lucky girl lucky girl If you can feel it You can dance forever If you can deal with it Live forever live forever Everything Will be ours From the planet To the stars to the stars We’re getting on the beam Things are just as they seem Immortality in the age of the clever Live forever live forever On the beam Live forever
18.
I’ve got a little think tank I call it home I ain’t too highly paid though Just flesh and bone I’ll put a little thingie out On video cassette And hope the Minister of Propaganda Don’t get too upset Still it all comes though The United Matrix of America Pagan rhythms out of Africa Pagan shipments out of Kathmandu From the Aztecs to the Ming Genetic carnival on wings We’ve got a little freak show We call it “The Hunchback Squeaks” And then I politician I get on up and I speaks “I got a lotta rage” he cries “And lots of irony” You’re baboons in a cage” he lies “I’m going to set you free” Still it all comes though The United Matrix of America Pagan rhythms out of Africa Pagan shipments out of Kathmandu From the Aztecs to the Ming Genetic carnival on wings Gotta get back to L.A. now Got a media jones Talking with the network boys and taking out more loans I get 3 minutes on NBC Attack the ruling class I've got 4 friends at NASA now If I have to move my ass Still it all comes though The United Matrix of America Pagan rhythms out of Africa Pagan shipments out of Kathmandu From the Aztecs to the Ming Genetic carnival on wings
19.
20.
Everybody must take their shoes off at the airport Everybody must plug their car in at the carport Everybody still loves Britney when her dress's short Everybody has to have a quick and snarky retort But things here aren't really all that bad Since everybody must get rehab They stone you when you don't wear your chador They stone you and they call you a whore They stone you in Iraq and in Iran They stone you and then they cut off your hand But here things aren't really quite as bad Still everybody must get rehab Everybody must get their free botox injection Everybody must be available for inspection Everybody must get a way rad looking cell phone Everybody must pay back the interest on that home loan But I guess things aren't quite so bad Still everybody must get rehab They stone you when your homeless and your poor They stone you when you can't say who your for They stone you like they stoned Tupac Shakur They even stone you when you close the white house door But I guess things aren't quite so bad Still everybody must get rehab
21.
I wanna steal your radio 
 Sacrifice your fingers to an electric fence 
 I torture you in future tense staccato 
 And come back home and rest in bed all day  

I've got techniques for ecstasy 
 Keeping them under the hat stand 
 Let's whip 'em out 
 And see if anything fits on your head  

I wanna steal your radio 
 Capture you on a hard disc drive 
 Save you and make a million copies 
 Give one to each of my friends  

I inverted the very color of being 
 But you -- you weren't there 

 I wanna be your radio 
 Sire wire fire and inspire you (cyber cyber) 
 Flick the switch that renders you insane 
 Come back home and rest in bed all day (cyber cyber) 
 I wanted to be Salvador Dali  
I wanted to be dead and unreasonable 
 Let's grieve in concentric circles 
 To make the night release your brain  

I wanna be your radio 
 Now I wanna be your radio
22.
Afternoon of the living deadpan (dead Pan) Don't forget to bring your bedpan We're telling jokes that kill Don't forget to bring your pills Took the lawyers several months just to write an i.o.u. babe It takes so many horrible workers just to build a single beat It takes so many horrible lovers just to put me on my feet Should I write an i.o.u. babe We're all born to original debt Write it off to appropriation What you see is what you get Afternoon at the Holiday Inn All the bands are named MONDO Vanilli They're playing songs to make you relax We're laughing in the back Took the chauffeur several hours just to write an i.o.u. babe (How you gonna baste the turkey if you don't have any stuffing!) It takes so many well paid servants just to find a decent place to eat It takes so many local hookers to keep me from falling asleep Should I write an i.o.u. babe or can you find the joke And when you're done with the lawsuit Be sure to slaughter the goat god

about

A collection of selections of my favorite songs from bands I was in or worked with or wrote lyrics for.

My lyrics are on all except Girl with a Radio by Patrick Lowery and Gimme Helter (instrumental)

About 1/2 of the vocals are mine

Vocals on I Should've been a Guru and Everybody Must Get Rehab by Matt Sabo

Vocals on Not A Bug But A Feature & MONDO Is Italian For Word by Steve Fly Agaric 23

Vocals on Punching A Nazi & Be My Valerie Solanas by Charlene Verrette & Acatelysteleven

Vocals on I Hope You Didn't Dose The Pudding by Pizza T

Vocals on Illusions of Agency by Ed Reibsamen & Pizza T

Vocals on The World Is Flat by AI

Vocals on I Wanna Be Your Radio by Scrappi DuChamp

Shared vocals on IOU Babe with Scrappi DuChamp


Bands were/are:
Party Dogs, 1982
MONDO Vanilli 1992, 1994
SLT 2010
Creosote Cowboy 2017
R.U. Sirius & Phriendz 2016 - 2020

credits

released August 8, 2016

Mondo Vanilli
Party Dogs
SLT
R.U. Sirius & Phriendz
Creosote Cowboy

license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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R.U. Sirius & Various Bands San Francisco, California

Photo above by Eve Berni

R.U. Sirius and his various bands past, present and future. R.U. Sirius was Editor in chief of legendary cyberpunk magazine MONDO 2000 in the early 1990s. Since then, he swallowed the sun in entirety and has given up acid for antacid. Bands include Party Dogs and Mondo Vanilli among others ... more

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